Can’t Get Enough Higher Education

Posted: August 2, 2009 in Laughter, Miscellaneous

I am officially one-third of the way toward becoming a doctor. Upon completion of my three years of law school, I will receive a Juris Doctorate degree, making me an official Doctor of Laws. You would think that would be enough higher education for any one person, but for a person with a towering intellect such as mine, my thirst for learning is practically insatiable.

Which is why I can announce the good news from today: I have now officially been accepted into Traffic School.

Yes, my friends, the $202 in fines wasn’t enough for me. I want to learn much more about traffic. And I will not rest until I receive the Traffic Doctorate degree. If my dream is realized, I will one day be known as the Doctor of Traffic.

The biggest hurdle I face now is choosing a school. My choices consist of places of higher learning with names like…
* Fun Time Traffic School
* Too Lazy For Traffic School
* Comedy Traffic School
* Pizza 4U Great Comedians

I’m leaning toward Fun Time simply because they have such a great football program, but Too Lazy’s reputation for academic excellence is unsurpassed. If anyone has any advice, I am open for suggestions. A decision like this one should not be taken lightly.

  1. coolhandandrew says:

    I’d definitely choose an on-line option. That way you can be doing something else while spending three hours having an animated character tell you astonishing things such as (1) that you shouldn’t drive into oncoming traffic and (2) using your turn signal is helpful to other drivers and (3) intoxication impairs your ability to drive. Truly high-intellect stuff.

  2. alsturgeon says:

    Yeah, on-line is the way I’m going to go. Only you have to provide your own pizza. 🙂

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